Sometimes, no matter how much you try things just hit the fan and you’re left with a pile a poo. That’s what the last couple of weeks feel like for me. I want to be an able body but things just keep getting in the way.
People have been out at work and there have been gap and holes that I have been trying to fix not because I want to but because I don’t want the poor substitute to be left stranded and to have students speak down to her, that is unfair. I might not always stand up for myself but I will stand up for other when I see something isn’t right.
The demands of work are getting overwhelming, having to go above and beyond is ok if you volunteered for it but the reality is that we just keep getting asked to do more, we aren’t machines and playing on the heartstrings of teachers isn’t something that you should do. As teachers we choose this profession with the hopes of helping other but how can we help others is we are getting pulled in so many directions?
Working overtime… Tutoring hasn’t really been demanding. I tutor and amazing child, it’s more like I just have another item on my todo list. I do have to acknowledge that tutoring takes time and focused attention.
Then there is the home life, having stepchildren isn’t always as easy as it may look especially when you are parenting with someone that you don’t agree with. Days are filled with lice treatments for my stepchildren because they have been coming home with it since June. Then the disinfecting process that goes with it. Washing sheets, wiping and spraying. Trying to keep the other two from catching it and yourself. Having your OCD really go into overdrive, thinking you got some on your person.
Then, there is you. You know you aren’t like everyone else and your not supposed to but having an invisible disability really takes a toll on you. Having Teddy has helped a lot but I am limited, I put in a request for work and I am still waiting. Teddy is an owner trained service dog, he is still in training but already is alerting to some of my behaviors. He gives me a sense of independence that I didn’t think was possible. Already I have noticed that I am venturing out and exploring alone, or with family. Teddy is an SDiT so we still go to classes and training which is fun. I actually enjoy it and see it more as a destresser than anything else.
Regardless, my life just seems like chaos. I have a pending court date for the kids who I adore. I would love to adopt them but their Mom is still involved. Life just gets so complicated… Modern Mommy has to be on 24/7 but really she needs a month plus vacation…