How do I just let it go?

How do I let things go? Here I am trying to make it through the day and all want to do it call it quits. My husband read my last blog and I could tell that it really affected him. I didn’t mean to make him feel bad but what I wanted was to tell someone how I feel. He is my partner in crime except when it comes to my depression and anxiety. How do I tell him that it really isn’t him that it’s me. How do I tell him that there are moments when I wish I want here and that no matter how much I want to say I love you I just can’t. There is this invisible wall that doesn’t let me escape that no matter how much I want to be there and enjoy the moment I just can’t. How do I tell him that there are times when I don’t want to be here and I know its not right to feel like that but I do?